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I need no people, need no mess.
I want to listen to my feelings.
I want to cry and to recall
The memories of sweetest moments.
The shades of darkness, lights on walls...
I listen. And the rain is falling.
I seal the envelope to send.
I`m leaving you. So I will forget
All our love. I don`t regret.
I`ll just dissolve in pouring rain.
Forgive me and farewell, my friend.
I`ll sip some cognac, keeping sense of balance.
My house. Dusk. No lights along the street.
I watch the dove, which preens his feathers.
I savor silence. It tastes so bittersweet.
2017
Aftertaste
The autumn and the morning. The undone bed.
I take some coffee beans to ground.
The whirligig of maple leaves is mad.
The rain drips down fragile window glass.
And taste of you is so sweet and sad.
The Autumn. And again I get the creeps.
The thoughts of mine are shattered.
Your love tastes bitter on my lips.
Like black hot tea with saffron.
I welcome this so lonesome autumn
With farewell tenderness, with wet cheeks of mine.
The silence. Peace. The sense of burden.
Goodbye forever. And set at ease your mind!
2017
I fell ill with you
You know, I fell ill with you.
I am running for you with mucus and blood,
With all dreams and all liquids,
With ashes and smoke,
With spirits and tea, like a flood.
You know, you can`t be removed.
You`re rotting in me, spilling poison.
I spit it, as bitter as sooth.
I try to use pain for my poems.
You know, I fell ill with you.
I picked you up as the bug.
I fell ill with you and endure
Doubts, impulses, fights.
You know, I am killed with you.
I am all black, full of salt.
Just one your look makes me drool,
Be abrupt, rebellious, hot.
You know, I am tortured with you,
Tormented, pulled out and crumpled.
You hypnotize and bewitch.
You`re silent. I am crucified.
You drink me like sparkling wine.
I`m cast in pearls. I am spawned...
You are so great, you are smart.
I breathe for your sake, I adore you.
2017
Bitterness
Look into me like into abyss.
Take off me all my masks.
That, what used to be proud matter
I washed away into dust.
I need you. I need you badly!
It`s not the matter of doubt.
You know, what I feel is painful.
I suffocate with my love.
The rainy evening is dusky.
The sky frowns with wadding.
Something in my chest is sinking.
Something in my throat feels rending.
There are no you. There`s no hope.
I`m tired to cry in the night.
You are so unreal for me.
But I happen for you time to time.
"Time to time" sounds like scherzo.
My pain moans in despair.
Unasked but so loud questions
Are drown in the aphonic air.
Fingers mammock the glass.
The red turns into blue.
I need you. I need you so much.
You know, I fell ill with you.
2017
Stop
As though the train shudders with "Stop",
Your shoulders move suddenly back.
Your gaze roams somewhere outdoors.
The street is empty. It hails.
The forest frowns. The moldy grass.
It`s cold outside. The animals hide.
The tired wind slumbers, lying snug in web glass.
That very wind, that played with your light.
I have promised to leave you just never more.
But I`m leaving you every second, each hour.
The light in the windows smoothly dies down.
Brokenly the light in the windows dies down.
The ice covers the flower.
2017
O n the field of battle
We are on the field of battle.
The suspension points drain through gaze.
Each point is a shooting.
Each point is fire.
I scream.
I put the point, marking the end. And again
I put point once more and once more...
And in points I sink...
My pulse beats for you.
My heart keeps the fire.
The blood in my flesh is boiling, spicy like clove.
You are inside of me. You are my burning desire.
Though I will never admit
That this feeling is Love.
And then I am bursting,
Like a bomb, thrown into old castles.
Locking the doors, I`ll finish the eternal game.
I feast my defeat.
And among scarlet poppies,
I`m oozing,
All soaked with the lustful champagne.
2017
The Colo u rs
The flame of my love flows through my veins.
All over the floor I spilled all my chess.
That, what seemed black, a film develops to white.
That, what seemed white, you turn into black.