My city 2: The terrifying history Zhalovskoy, or the Spider
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Night light of the clear moon lit their bodies. They were by the window. Their bodies seemed dark yellow in moonlight beams. Silence and rest. The pacification and happiness was around this couple. Nina thought. – What they are happy! Anything else is not necessary to these two. They expect the birth a baby. What can be better. Birth of new life. Perfectly. And let it simply seems to me. I know that it will happen to me. This maintaining my possible living in poverty or a dream? All the same. – she looked at the stomach, and having put the hands on the stomach, felt the future pregnancy. She felt in her new life arises. Life of the new person. It is fine when you feel as in a body new life as what will soon seem on light grows in a body arises, and will light up the emergence by loud shout. Yes, it is fine. When after long painful toxicosis new life is born. Pleasures simplification of flesh, dreadful childbirth, and emergence of new life. As it is fine!
But here again Nina saw something. Something arose from nowhere. Something ominous, inspiring horror and fear. What is it? Brought it wind. From nowhere. Nobody waited for it. Female sovereign and queen. Yes, it was such. Imperious, povevayushchy bitch. It was by the window, dimming a moonlight which shone it in a back, and Nina saw its outline in black, gloomy light. Suddenly, unexpectedly she exclaimed. – NO! YOU DO NOT RECEIVE IT! My CHILD. – its voice sounded so terribly and awfully that at Nina intercepted breath. Her body shrank, and soul went to heels. The voice of this loud woman was awful also monotonous as if from an underworld. – PROSTITUTE! – she addressed Nina phantom. – What? SOMEWHERE ACQUIRED VYBLIDK, and NOW ON my SON. – She pointed to a stomach to the female phantom. – COVETED? WHAT? DID NOT FIND OTHER FOOL? – here she threatened it with a hand. – LOOK the KNOT, you WILL REGRET. – this woman was so furious and uncontrollable in the rage that could put everyone and everything upside down now. It was nothing is terrible. She always went towards the aim. What it costed to it it always tried to obtain the. She tried to obtain in any way, disdained nothing. Called her Nadezhda. Hope – Roman's mother. Mother of the son. Ready for it to offer everything, even the life. Where now Nina and Roman? And here they. The novel costs near the mother. Small child, years of five. Do you ask why small child five years? I will answer so. For each mother her child will always be a child. The small defenseless child, needing the help small defenseless the child of years of five, and even it is less. Needing her caress and continuous care. So-called exhibitionism. "DISPLAY of ONE PERSON AS HE LOVES ANOTHER". However, it leads to disappointment. Sometimes parents so try to show that they love somebody that it leads to paranoia. However, me to judge these persons parents trying to cause anxiety children that results eventually in deplorable result. Children mount upon a neck to the parents, and those are forced to carry out all their desires, trying to prove that they love them even more than when they really were babies. The woman stood opposite to her and cried bitterly. She was not in the family way any more. Being kneeling, opposite to the little beautiful girl she sobbed. Sobbed and as if begged for forgiveness at the child. Looking at the little girl, Nina did not see her face. It as if was covered with something gray. As if the gray veil was on her face. Nina could not see this baby, her face, it was hidden from eyes of Nina and other people. She saw how the woman tries to remove this gray veil of a veil from her face, but as she did not try, than more she tried, the veil on the face of the little girl was that a crab. At some point Nina saw how the girl disappeared. It as if evaporated, turned into something, and disappeared in clouds of gray smoke. Did not understand Nin from where he undertook? This smoke? Gray smoke in which this girl disappeared. She understood that this smoke in which the girl disappeared was intended for the specific person. For this girl, for her daughter. Who as the daughter did she see in this maintaining? Who as did her daughter disappear in gray smoke? This woman crying in the room was she! It is most, and nobody other.
Here and third maintaining. In beams of the bright moon, from under heaven, going along the lunar road, the girl the woman of years … It went to that window in which the woman's figure was reflected. Her eyes were drowned in tears. It could not stop bitter tears of loss. Grieving on the girl, she, having bent the person, having closed it hands, did not look anywhere, except half of the apartment. Everything was indifferent for it. She died, died when her child disappeared. Ever since she dined herself griefs and suffering. Who could not save the children from an inevitable trouble, that is not worthy to be called their parent if this person gave birth to him. Nina saw that the woman going to a window where there was she cannot reach it. Going on this road, she further and further left her, and kind of she did not try to reach this window, some force further and further alienated the woman going to this window and the woman
Here one more maintaining. The woman in a window who cried all tears at last turned the view of the moon. It was sore to it to look at the moon. Yellow light hurt her eyes. She closed them, and, in a touch second having opened them, saw before herself something similar to her daughter Vicki. From its beauty there is no trace left also. Her face was disfigured by scars, her body was emaciated. It seemed beautiful Vicki watched not her at Nina at all. The fallen woman looked at it. Sold herself for a piece of bread. This woman exclaimed. – You SEE THAT she MADE WITH me I S YOU! – Nina understood about whom there is a speech. It was talked of that imperious woman who obviously and promoted their parting. But why they left? Did not know this Nin. Though guessed that here was not without imperious woman.
The fourth maintaining was difficult. Nina saw herself, Roman and Vika again. Now they were all together. Standing on a balcony, they looked at stars. It was quiet and peaceful in a circle. Calm and pacification. They were happy. But happiness lasted not for long. The woman departed on the sky, to stars there. Up, there, where rest and silence. The killed silence, the woman told one: – Find Natalia. – the girl exclaimed. – Mother! Do not abandon us. – but the woman could not but leave them. Its time has come. She carried out all the life tormently and sufferings, and now it is time on rest. There, in the best the world. Where there is no treachery and rage, to get also hypocrisy. Where the person is more important and that at it in a pocket. It departed in the best the world. Far away from everything that surrounded it. It departed, having left the daughter Vika on care of the father. Romana. He will always care for it, it will never leave her one. It, her father. Flesh of its flesh.
Nina woke up early. On hours was seven morning. To it, appear, that all that she saw now was really. What was it? Maintaining future? That part of the future which cannot be changed. But she can was mistaken, and all that she saw really? All these of maintaining were realistic so that it was possible to take them in all good faith. But then why it in a bed? She looked round. A bright sun of a star in a window. She got out of a bed and having thrown with a dressing gown approached a window. And here she thought. – No. It was only the dream. The dream, and nothing else is more. – She quietly sighed and her lungs were filled with fresh clean air. – yes, it was all in only a dream. Dream, and anything else. I saw the future. – here she pricked up the ears. – But why everything so ended in this dream? – here she understood. – This was my death. Death which cannot be prevented. only the idiot can consider that death it is possible to deceive. To remember only the movie by Ingmar Bergman, "the SEVENTH PRESS". The soldier, playing chess with death, tries will delay the death. But eventually loses. He understands that death cannot be beaten. Only it is possible to delay it, but when the person dies, he understands that no delay existed. Death only allowed to think that it granted this delay, but it not so. All of us die. Living, we die. Our body grows old day by day. This process is sluggish. It to last all our life. And if for us it is not prepared by destiny to die at early age, then we live to a ripe old age. Everyone dies in due time. Death inevitable part of the life of the person. In due time we will die all. Also that person who considers that he will live so long that death will just avoid him is silly.
In it t the instant, Nina felt how someone touched her shoulder and called it by name. She looked back, and saw
стоящею behind her that woman whom she saw in bright sun light recently. She told: – I showed you your destiny if you decide to link life with Roman. – Nina asked. – What was it? – what that answered. – Your destiny. – Nina thought. She could not understand how to treat all these of maintaining? The first maintaining was clear, and the last too. But how to decipher two other maintaining? She did not know it. She took an interest. – I do not understand what will happen to me? – what answered with a female forfeit. – the child will bring happiness and suffering. – Nina thought. – How to understand it? – what answered with a female forfeit. – Life in suffering, here that to you waits. You are ready to it? – Nina specified. – To what? To suffering? – that answered. – Exactly. – then she added. – Sufferings is a highest degree of humility. – Nina did not understand the woman. She was not a religious person. She was an atheist rather. Without believing in anything, she always considered that suffering nothing else as a bad patch in life of the person. If the person poor was born, then he is doomed to torments and suffering. But if he was born in rich family, family of the politician, then to it nothing is terrible in this life. It in cash, and suffering to it at all. He buys everything and that cannot buy selects, being guided by the law which was created only for it. Nina asked. – Do you consider that in suffering pleasure? – that answered. – It so. – what Nina objected to. – I with you am discordant. Sufferings they are also sufferings. Nobody can understand sufferings still person will not suffer. Do you claim that I, having given birth to the child will suffer from Roman? I with it am discordant. "I will be happy. – she told. – Contrary to all I will be happy with my child, and let it will have no father, I will be happy!". On what told the female phantom. – Let's look.Again dawn! Nina woke up from noise in the apartment. She looked round and having understood that it was only the dream. A dream, and nothing else, she was roused, and having thrown with a dressing gown, went to kitchen.
Chapter-14
Philosophy on a subject … and awful news
Again dawn! Nina woke up from noise in the apartment. She looked round and having understood that it was only the dream. A dream, and nothing else, she was roused, and having thrown with a dressing gown, went to kitchen. Roman sat at a table, he had tea. To Uvidev Ning, he greeted, and having offered tea, added. – Today solar morning, isn't that so?
Nina looked in a window. Outside the window there was an early morning. A star in a window the bright red sun. From a night hurricane there is no trace left. The trees lying on the earth only broken reminded of this awful night. Nights when across Moscow and area the hurricane flew by. Nina told.
– Fine dawn. – then she took an interest. – And where Will?
– Left early in the morning. – Roman answered. – It hurried in the airport aboard the plane.
– It is clear.
Roman offered.
– Tea?
– I will not refuse. – she sat down at a table, and Roman having got up poured tea on glasses. Nina asked. – Why?
Roman did not understand a question. It asked again.
– What why?
– Why you here? – asked Nin. – How did you find me?
– I here because wanted to see you. – Roman answered, having added. – Your sister, Natalia gave me your address. – then he asked. – By the way, where it now?
– Departed.
– Ah and. – Roman remembered. – She told something to me about departure. – he made a pause, then told. – But will be enough about it. – then he offered. – Let's talk about us.
Nina took a sip.
– About us? – she was surprised. Then she noticed. – It seems to me that we are not so well familiar to speak about us.
Roman agreed.
– I agree that we have to know well each other to speak about us.
Nina took an interest.
– What will we begin with?
Roman told about himself that he studies as the architect. He lives one with mother. However, to it was not what in general to tell about itself. He was a mother's sonny. Obeyed her in everything. Never had the opinion, and it was subject to its influence.